Come out and see “Everything But the Kitchen Sink (or not) Cabaret” Next Week!!!

June 19th, 2008

I am so excited for this show next week, and I sure hope you can make it as we stumble down memory lane at The Triple Door next week.

This was an interesting show to book as I cast a big net by sending out e-mails to most of the performers I have worked with over the last 21 years. There have been several incarnations of the show you will see next week, many of the acts I pursued were not available for this date as they are out touring around the planet, or had planned a much needed vacation, or had family emergencies and had to cancel, but I am most satisfied with how it all came together.

You will be the first audience to see El Vez’s work in progress “A Tribute To John Sex”.
He is in the midsts of developing a full length one man show about the Boylesque 80’s Icon John Sex, Sex was the first show I produced as The Swedish Housewife in 1987, at The Vogue on 1st Avenue.

Miss Astrid and I decided that the show should be run in chronological order and I think you will see that I have a pretty distinct esthetic that I am consistently attracted to. I see many parallels in my programing over the years and hope that the performers will see who there counter parts are, and that the newer ones will see how they are a continuum of those esthetics.

I must confess that when I book a show I am very selfish and book what thrills me. Granted I have a very diverse appetite.
I really appreciate that Dina Martina is willing to come all they way back to Seattle from her summer retreat in Provincetown to be part of this one night folly. It is rare that one gets to see her in a collective show these days, as we are so used to seeing her in her one woman extravaganzas that have literally been thrilling the world. She was quite the hit in London this spring.

For a little fishing village… Seattle has so many amazing performers and I am delighted to have the opportunity to provide a whole new crop of talented Northwest acts the pleasure of being on The Triple Door stage.

Please come out to support the reasons I get out of bed in the morning, El Vez as John Sex with Miss Indigo Blue, Kathleen Hunt and Triadic Breast, Dina Martina, Armitage Shanks reads Steven Jesse Bernstein, Lily Verlaine, Ernie Von Schmaltz, The Naked Folk Singer, Waxie Moon, Queen Shmooquan, Iva Handful with Ultra and Nanda!

JUNE 25th, The Triple Door, Seattle 7:30 PM.
Tickets: $20 pre sale / $25 day of show
call 206-838-4333 to purchase or go to The Triple Door box office at 216 Union Street

The Mother of all Seattle Burlesque Fundraisers for The Burlesque Hall of Fame!!!!

May 13th, 2008

The Swedish Housewife and Miss Indigo Blue’s Academy of Burlesque Present
A Seattle Burlesque Fundraiser for The Burlesque Hall of Fame
The Only Burlesque Museum in The World!!

Last summer saw each of Seattle’s competing Burlesque performers bringing home the gold at The Exotic World Reunion & Pageant in Las Vegas, the Burlesque community’s version of the Oscars. The Von Foxies, Seattle’s Hottest Burlesque Power-Trio, won “Best Troupe”. The Heavenly Spies won “Best Duo”.

This summer Seattle is again sending amazing contestants to vie for the Exotic World titles and trophies. This year’s competitors include Sinner/Saint Burlesque for “Best Troupe”; Inga Ingenue as well as Ravenna Black for “Miss Exotic World”; and Lily Verlaine and Miss Indigo Blue for “Best Duo”.

The Exotic World Weekend is a fundraiser for the Burlesque Hall of Fame, the only Burlesque Museum in the world. To support this amazing event and organization, Seattle’s Burlesque community is throwing a doozy of a fundraiser! Seattle has one of the largest and most active Burlesque communities in the nation, second only to New York City. See what our Emerald City has to offer on Tuesday, May 20 at The Heavens.
A Raucous evening of some fine Seattle Burlesque, with a Live and Silent Auction all to benefit The Burlesque Hall of Fame!

An All Star Cast!!!!
Belle Cozette, Boi/y’s Club, Fuchsia FoXXX and Sassy DeLure, Hottie McNaughty, Iva Handful, Kitty Baby, Lucky Penny, Miss Indigo Blue, Miz Ginger Snapz, Polly Delish, Poppy Toppenbottem, Ravenna Black, Ruby Mimosa, Sinner Saint Burlesque, Sydni Deveraux, Tamara The Trapeze Lady, The Heavenly Spies, The Shanghai Pearl, The Swedish Housewife, The Von Foxies, and Waxie Moon!!!

Hosted and Emceed by Armitage Shanks, Kaleb Hagen-Kerr and The Swedish Housewife

Bring your fat wallets….

Live Auction by Miss Indigo Blue and Kaleb Hagen-Kerr
Silent Auction and Raffle by members of The Rat City Roller Girls

Silent Auction- Shhhhhh!
A photo of Miss Indigo Blue by Chris Blakeley
A photo of a Seattle Burlesque Personality by Christopher Nelson
Hot off the press this years Burlesque Hall of Fame T-Shirts
The Ravenna Black Pin Up Pack
The Iva Handful Revolution Package
Jet City Burlesque Party Package’ which will include 2 tickets to our next show, 2 t-shirts, a signed photo and a rhinestoned wooden spoon

Live Auction!
A photo shoot with Paul O’Connell styled by The Swedish Housewife
Hot off the press this years Burlesque Hall of Fame Mechanics shirt
A Personally Inked Piece of Mammarian Art by The Von Foxies

The Mother of all Raffles!
2 Tickets to The Swedish Housewife’s “Everything But the Kitchen Sink (or not) Cabaret” on June 25th at The Triple Door.
2 Tickets to the June 16th Dr. Sketchy’s with Iva Handful
2 Tickets to The Von Foxies Kids Cabaret May 24th Theater Off Jackson
2 Tickets to A Naughty Nautical Birthday Bash! May 29th The Baltic Room
2 Tickets to The New Circus Contraption Show

Location: The Heavens- 172 South Washington, Pioneer Square
Date: Tuesday May 20th
Time: Door at 7PM
Tickets: General Admission $15 advance, $20 day of show
Couches $100, $150 day of show
Advance tickets available at: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34743

http://www.burlesquehall.com

Celebrating “21″ years of staggeringly delightful entertainment!

March 1st, 2008

The Swedish Housewife Presents
“Still Falling Down Memory Lane”
5 shows celebrating “21″ years of staggeringly delightful entertainment.

April 9th - Joey Arias in “Strange Fruit” channeling Billie Holiday with Elliot Douglass on piano
ON SALE NOW at Triple Door tickets

June 25th - “Everything but the Kitchen Sink (or not) Cabaret”
An eclectic evening plucked from “21″ years of programming.

August 13- “An Evening with Ann Magnuson”

October 8 - “House of The UnHoly” #2 an evening of Led Zeppelin Burlesque!

December 10- John Kelly in “Paved Paradise:Redux” The songs of Joni Mitchell

The Triple Door
216 Union Street
Seattle, WA 98101

door at 5:30PM
show at 7:30PM

Tickets:
$22 advance
$25 day of show
Rated R meaning 17+
206-838-4333
http://www.tripledoor.com/tickets/

I also want to share with you that I have resigned from “Burlesque Behind The Pink Door” and my last production was February 23th.

It has been a very rewarding experience to host and curate this weekly show for over two years, and am grateful that it has been so well received. I want to thank all of you who have come out and supported that night and our fabulous Seattle performers!

All the best,

The Swedish Housewife

Evita, Tango, Taxis and more

February 10th, 2008

Thursday was to be our day to travel to Uruguay and visit Colonia a UNESCO city, but the weater looks risky, there are impending thunder and shower storms and I am not partial to traveling for an hour on a ferry if that is the case. We settle on Plan B to visit the Evita Museum .

Evita is as much a paradox as the country that loves/ed and hates her. She was a social climbing, stylish socialist from what I can gleam. She did wonders for Labor rights, women, children, healthcare, and education in a very short time. In my book she was kind of amazing, but she also did some not so nice things, like destroying a former rival actresses from her days of being an actress, once she was in power by banning her films and effectively destroying her career.

The museum had some of her wardrobe which I very much enjoyed seeing and various film clips that were quite engrossing and learned some the very unsettling information about what had happen to her corpse after it was taken away by the Military from the CTG hall (her former office) where her embalmed corpse had been on display for two years. Mutilation, necrophilia, and a 16-year international journey shrouded in mystery, including being on display on her husband’s dining room table in Spain before returning to Argentina and permanently entombed at The Recoleta Cemetery.

I could spend hours reading and researching the topic of Argentina and the cult of necrophilia, as it is a diverse tradition here. This is a country where dead bodies are used for political statements. For example in 1987 thieves broke into, Gen. Juan D. Peron (Evita’s husband) tomb, sawed off his hands, and demanded $6 million in ransom for them. Causing an obvious hubbub, his hands are still missing today.

From the museum we were go to go to the Japanese Garden on of the biggest outside of Japan, but the skies looked foreboding to me and we return to our home away from home San Telmo and went on an adventure close to home. I found a great lamp fixture for my dressing room and am curious how it will be trying to get it home in one piece as it is blown glass and hoping that TSA in Houston does no think I will try to do harm to an airplane with it, as I think the only solution is to carry it on board. We find an antique shop that has amazing turn of the century dresses and hats as well as pristine gaucho wear form the 30’s and 40’s. It is more like a textile museum and the prices are all in US dollars and spendy. We come home and change to go out to dinner with Niek, his wife and son for Sushi. I met Niek several years back in Marfa, Texas at the wedding reception of his niece Valerie, and Don my dear friend who formerly lived in Seattle. He is Dutch and has been living here for 22 years and is married to an Argentina. Sushi in Argentina leaves much to be desired, as I had suspected. Niek explains that you will not find Hamachi here as it is all sent to Japan and the US after being fished out of the ocean. One is limited to salmon, shrimp, salmon, octopus, salmon, the occasional white fish, salmon, and more salmon. Every once in a while you may encounter pink tuna!!!!

We have some ice cream next to the sushi bar to chat some more, as they are quite charming. I express an interest to have a great glass of Malbec before going home, Niek and Estella to tired to continue decide that Rachel and I should go to Café Danzon. They drop us off and we are at a swankyish pick up joint mostly patronized by locals.

As I sit and write this Rachel has been working on choreographing Coppelia for her 4 to 40 year old span of dancers at one of the schools she teaches at back in Seattle. She has her I pod attached to her head and her arms are gracefully flying about while prancing on her toes all while seated in a chair, on occasion she gets up and executes and arabesque. Adorable and hilarious! She tells me that it takes 1 hours to chorography one minute and the ballet she is working on is going to be 1 and half hours long.

Back to the bar… We meet an Argentinean gentleman who’s last name is Santorum and works for the UN in East Timor. He is home on holiday to visit family and friends. He winks a lot, Rachel thinks it is because he likes me. I think he has a twitch. After our wine and conversation we are ready to head home.

Friday we get up late, how unusual…
Rachel is meeting her friend Nate to discuss a project and I mull about until 6PM when Rachel and I are to attend our first Tango class at The Dandi Royal conveniently down the street from us. She has not returned and I decided to go on my own, the class costs $12 pesos for an hour and a half.
It is an international mix of students and I am a little nervous. I got through my first class it was fun and humbling all at the same time. I moistly danced with a middle-aged man named Hugo who kind of reminded me of Peter Lori. He stood about 5’4 and I am 5’8 in heels. He was very patent with me and wanted to practice his English between songs, which I was happy to do in exchange for his helping me tango. At one point the bartended decide he wanted to take me for a spin around the dance studio. He was quite an excellent dancer and I could not help but feel that he must have felt like he was navigating a truck around.

Later that evening Rachel and I go back to the great Thai Restaurant Lotus that we went to our first night here and after dinner at 1 AM we decided t make the plunge to go to one of the traditional Milangas at Confiteria Ideal. We arrive just as the band has ended but there are still dancers here. It is an older crowd with a few younger dancers say, in their short 30’s mixed in who are quite accomplished. Rachel and my favorite is this delightful older man in his long 70’s, in a very jaunty white Panama hat. He had such style and grace and just flowed over the marble floor. When at a Milanga four songs are played per round and I don’t remember what that term is, and then there is a break song that is not tango music but can be any kind of dance music of a different style and it is called a quartina, well the DJ played a Rumba and man oh man could Mister Panama hat work that beat.
Rachel and I both were asked to dance a few times and I felt like a butcher…. But we both did get to dance with Mister Panama Hat and that was fun.

The next day we went to our version of breakfast at 3:30 PM to Café San Juan and it was great! Then we attend a 3 hour-long Tango class taught by Stella Barba my current favorite teacher. In our class there is a young man of 19 is name is Raphael and he is smitten with Rachel. The two short 60’s ladies from Switzerland and smitten with him. Me, I just enjoy watching the little dance they are all doing. But Raphael reminds me that many Argentineans have the most beautiful eye color, bright blues to the most unusual greens, his are of the blue variety. We rush home after class to met Niek and Estella for another dinner out this time a raw food vegetarian restaurant whose owner and head chef are one in the same named Diego. The food was great! But I am still in search of the perfect steak.

Observations:

Cars always pullover to the right for entering and exiting the vehicle. Not like NY where the taxi stops at an angel blocking the street. Most streets are one way. Kind of a good thing as Argentines are aggressive drivers and I enjoy that.

We have had very good experience with the cabbies here, they usually laugh at us and our primitive address giving.
My phone fell out of my bag in one car and the driver came up to the Milanga I was in to find me and give it back.

While driving down the Avenida 9 De Julio the largest boulevard in the world, I spot an aspiring drummer with his kit set up next to the street to practice. He has terrible rhythm and no syncopation, which leads me to believe that his girlfriend told him if he wanted to learn to play drums he needed to go elsewhere.

San Telmo- February 7th, 08

February 7th, 2008

Monday is moving day and an odyssey it is, due to banking regulations in Argentina. The challenge…. get $3720.00 pesos out of a cash machine or find a bank that will give us lager amounts at one time. We ended up at Bank National a public government run bank where after much shenanigans we find out that our limit is $1000 pesos ($300) each per day… It takes us about 2 hours to complete this task leaving us $1720.00 pesos short. Down the street we go to HSBC and hit the cash machines limited to $300 pesos per withdrawal takes 6 transactions. Oh, I forget to mention that adding to the task at and poor Rachel was not feeling well this morning and had to find bathrooms frequently. We finally have the money we need to pay for our apartment and when we arrive Mister Esposito is heading our and cannot meet us until 5 PM at the apartment, it is now 1PM. Off to find a vegetarian lunch and then back to the B& B where we are welcome to hang out till we can meet Mister Esposito. I watch the news while Rachel naps. There is a huge anti – FRAC demonstration in Columbia hundreds of thousands of people have taken to the streets and Columbians all over the world are out protesting, even in BA as one of the latest hostage situations included a girl from Argentina.

Finally we move to San Telmo the Avenue A (circa 84) of Buenos Aires. It also makes me think of photos I have seen of recently partially renovated streets in Havana. It is a neighborhood in transition just north of LA Boca, a neighborhood not in transition. There are lots of Antique shops and a big open market on the weekends. I am willing to bet that in 2 years this will be the most sought after place to live in BA. Lot’s of renovations going on but two of the supposedly popular restaurants we wanted to go to here have closed. I like this neighborhood, as it is still a neighborhood. I guess all my years living in NYC have left me liking a little grit in the ambiance. There are families, friends and lovers roaming around. Our first evening out we ended up a corner bar/restaurant. Rachel had a beer to settle her stomach and I have some a fabulous Argentinean white wine. We sat and chatted and made friends with a few locals, one who is a food stylist and gives us quite a few recommendations for other places to dine around the city. The other refers to himself as a surrealist poet and gives us a book. As I don’t read Spanish I would need to translate his work and that would take some time. …and I wonder is it even possible to translate surrealist poetry?

Rise and shine time seems to be at 1ish PM and getting out into the world of BA takes us till at least 2PM. But we have been staying out till 3AM so it is not like we are missing out on the 24-hour city…

Yesterday we went to The Microcentro and it was noisy and claustrophobic. It left me feeling grumpy… Actually I was a little grumpy even as we headed out, so I was just even grumpier. We tried to go to two different places to eat and they were either closed (Granix) or there was a line (Cafe Tortino) so to ease the city pressure we went to Puerto Madero and enjoyed a breeze infused, patio late lunch dining experience overlooking Dique #4, where the Yacht Club resides.

After lunch we decided to cruise the hotel swimming pools for a future adventure. First stop and supposedly the most dazzling is The Hilton, who’s exterior is a hostile grey metal and looks like it should be in and industrial business park between Stockholm and the Arlanda Airport. As we approach the door there are Business men some with families and other with their co workers . I spot two American Brooks Brothers Bobbsey Twins in their navy blue blazers, kaki pants, light blue shits, black belts and loafers…. We venture in and feel that the view is nice from the 7th floor, but the place it self is lacking in any ambiance and the clientele is, well, traveling businessmen. From here we walk over to visit the Faena Hotel + Universal to check on prices for the use of their pool, ahem, it is US$300 per day to mingle at this exclusive Philip Stark poolside, but it is pretty. Rachel has come to the conclusion that is it too expensive to be hip, I couldn’t agree with her more. We stop and eat ice cream at Freddo, I have an amazing Dolce con Leche.
Puerto Madero is home to an expansive Ecological Reserve and we are intrigued, but to tired to adventure further at this time and also, it late in the day. Leaving the Puerto Madero district we cross over a bridge and spot hundreds of Police and Riot Squads lining the street for no apparent reason, maybe it has something to do with the Anti FRAC demonstrations? I thought the Riot Squad uniform were kind of hot, with their tough kneepads, but then that is me… We choose to walk along the Dique but a few 100 yards in we find the smell off of Dique #1 is not so good so we head inland.

This is the first I have seen of stray dogs. They seem well nourished enough and pretty happy, not like some of the tragic mutts that I have encountered in Costa Rica and Mexico. Street smart too! They hang out with the police, people working the gas stations or the casual park dwellers.

One we get back the apartment we have a little down time before we head to Bar Sur now in business for 41 years, we enjoy an intimate evening of Tango, Milongas, and boleros. In the windows there are photos of celebrities who have been here and that includes Liz Minnelli. I forgot to tell Rachel that the show is interactive and as there are only front row seats in this tiny bar it is hard to avoid getting pulled in to the act, as Rachel soon found out as she was promptly whisked away to tango with the very serious and intense looking dancer who stood just about as high as her shoulder. We seem to be the only Americans in attendance this evening, I only hear Spanish being spoken and most of the audience seems to know all the songs that are sung as they gaily sing along. The owner of Bar Sur is probably in his 70’s and asks one of his servers to come over and ask where we were from. He sat next to our table to watch the show as some other patrons had left. He never spoke to us but bought us a round of champagne at the end of the night. We trundle home to sleep.

Wednesday was declared Tango Shoe Shopping Day!
We dressed up to go to the most exclusive shoe shop Comme il Faut, where you must ring a buzzer to enter and give your shoe size, color preference and they bring out what they have that day. They receive new shipments every day and the designs are always changing. We spend about an hour here, Rachel feels a little envious as she is a size 40 and the selection for her size is limited today, even more so as she is interested in a higher heel. We do however manage to leave with 5 pairs of shoes between us. I was not allowed to take any photos in the shop.

Lunch! A long and arduous walk ending in a very disappointing salad at Café Bila, we decides to go the Museo Xul Solar located in the former home of the surrealist painter of the same name. Well, it’s as surreal as it gets, the windows are covered in brown paper and we can’t get in. Closed for Renovations… This seems to be a theme for many of the cultural activities s we have selected to participate in, as it is summer The Modern Museum in San Telmo is closed, many of the tango halls are closed, both Fuerzabruta and De la Guardia are on tour, and sometimes we are just up and out too late in the day and find that even the cemetery is closed… But we were able to walk into the beautiful church located right next to the cemetery who’s name I never got, but the statues in there were gorgeous. It must be Ash Wednesday as I start to see multiple people with the equivalent of rather large ashen Bindi dots right in the middle of their foreheads.

We have dinner at Oviedo one of the best Spanish restaurants in town, where I am still not wowed by the food offerings. The wine however, GREAT!

We are tired and decide to make it an early night it is 11PM. We take a taxi home and receive a standing ovation from 4 men down the street as we exit the cab, for what we believe is an appreciation for our personal style.

Buenos Aires February 3rd, 08

February 4th, 2008

Big, beautiful, sophisticated, modern, old and feels huge.
It’s hard to arrive in a new city and not look for the familiar in the unfamiliar. I see New York circa 1980’s, Mexico City current, Battery Park City (Puerto Madero) early days, and it was not until last night that I saw the Parisian aspect of this diverse and complex city. The climate is perfect, warm with the perfect amount of humidity and beautiful breezes. There is quite an extreme socio economic range here.

I am traveling with Rachel aka Lily Verlaine and find her to be an entertaining travel companion as she finds the humor in most situations and is very easy going. To her surprise and mine within 12 hours she realized her unknown hidden talent and ability for understanding and communicating in Spanish! All the years of French classes have paid off!!! The Spanish spoken here is more Spanish and Italian sounding than what I am used to hearing in North America.

Our first day we were a bit disoriented from the 17 hour flight and lack of proper sleep. We had those horrid seats that are right in front of the bathrooms, that don’t really recline. Miss communication about payment upon arrival for the apartment we are renting in San Thelmo, lead to us having to find other accommodations for the weekend and relocate our selves in Colegiales near the Palermo district. This has been kind of great as we have been able to focus on this Barrio for now. We have been staying at Despartes B&B that has rooms without windows and the beds are like lumpy marshmallows. The staff is more than great and the location good.

The money has been a bit of a challenge as Visa has an odd policy with Argentina or is it Argentina’s odd policy with Visa? That you can only withdraw $300 pesos per transaction. This means they collect multiple transaction fees and you lot of time at the ATM. Most placed do not take plastic, as Rachel says, “cash is king” here.

Our first night on our own we tried to find a Drag show and after much searching and driving around, we found the one we were looking for but not at the address where it was listed but several blocks away at a new and different location. This discovery was quite serendipitous as we had walked by it the night before and it had piqued my curiosity while strolling around with Rachel’s friends who live here and I had made a note to try to come back. Our outing stated by leaving our B&B around 9PM dressed up and ready for action, walking a few blocks to the closest main street to catch a cab. We hear drumming and the sounds of crowds and see flags waving and can’t decipher if it is a late night protest or parade? Upon closer examinations it indeed is a parade that must be sanctioned as the street is closed off and traffic is being diverted. We notice that the flags we had seen form down the block are of The Three Stooges ?!?!? The paraders costumes are white tuxedo style suites with tails and hats with sequin appliqués of Rolling Stones lips and various Disney characters and more Three Stooges. We also notice that the many of the children are spraying people with shaving cream. Rachel smartly suggests we move away from the crowd and on to the sidewalk for safety, me in need to document mode, does not heed this wise suggestion and sure enough I get sprayed, as did Rachel, she had decided to follow me…. We assume this was a carnival event of some sort and decide to leave in search the drag show.

Traveling to Argentina with a vegetarian would seem like a bit of an obstacle course, but actually is not. Thanks to our two travel books we have located some fine options like Bio offering organic vegetarian fare at it best. The Quinoa Blini’s and the Quinoa risotto were amazing, as was the ginger lemonade. We ate at Lotus a great Thai restaurant our fist night here and the beef sate was the best I have ever eaten, must be that famous Argentinean beef I have heard so much about and have yet to really sink my teeth into. While on the topic of eating I had read about Thierry Pszonda one of the top chef’s in Buenos Aires who has received many awards and is a new member of Maitres Cuisiniers de France, and so we trekked over to The Hotel Sofitel last night to dine at Le Sud. The atmosphere was a bit sterile, though the renovated Deco building beautiful. This is where we saw the Parisian architectural influence on the city in the barrio called Reitro, with amazing modernist apartment buildings mixed in. I had a salad that was overwhelmingly huge and a lamb dish that was half good (a ragout of sorts that had been slow cooked for 16 hours was exceptional, the flavor sublime) and the other half not much to talk about. This included a quite grotesque cheese platter not really worth mentioning other than to say it was not worth mentioning. I think my friend Juli Guillemette currently at Brasa in Seattle could show Thierry a thing or two about portions and presentation.

Yesterday we engaged in a day of extremes in Kitsch.
After having our morning tea at 2 PM and lunch (at 4PM) at Bio we took a taxi over to Tierra Santa the world’s only religious theme park. It is fiberglass homage to Bethlehem and Christ’s odyssey. My two favorite things were the Resurrection of Christ (which occurs every hour, not quite on the hour) of a 40-foot Jesus (out of a mound) with 36 mechanical movements, the eyes opening and closing was a highlight. The second part was observing the reverence and joy that some of the religiously inclined park dwellers were experiencing. The other adventure in kitsch was our late night romp to Philip Stark’s recently designed Hotel called Faena Hotel + Universe in Puerto Madero the new artist district.

Yowie !!! The Holidays are upon us

December 3rd, 2007

Greetings to you All (even Tiny Tim) !,

How is it possible that we are already in December?!?!?
I swear it was just September and I was bitching about the lousy summer weather we had here in the Northwest and, I know, I know, I am still complaining….

I wanted to take this opportunity (as I am home ill with the grip that seems to be gripping our little fishing village en masse) to let you all know what the hell I am up to the next month, in hopes that I will get to see your charming faces at one or all of the following events.

December 5th - Toys For Ta-Ta’s- A Burlesque Benefit Show
The name pretty much spells it out, you bring gifts (and pay an uncover charge), you get to see our Ta Ta’s , and incidentally our other talents too.

Columbia City Theater
4916 Rainer Ave South
Seattle, 98118
$20 advance $25 at door

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/23658
http://www.myspace.com/naughtyisniceproductions

December 8th - Burlesque Behind the Pink Door with Lily Verlaine, Ernie Von Schamltz, The Swedish Housewife and surprise or two ……like two duets with me and Lily Verlaine!
with guest host Mister Kaleb Hagen-Kerr

The Pink Door
1919 Post Alley
Seattle, WA 98112

11PM at $12 cover, seating begins at 10PM

December 9th - Match Game Belltown-Everyone’s favorite double-entendre-laden ’70s Game Show lives again!
Watch as two contestants are pulled directly from the audience and try to match minds with rotating local guest celebrities for a chance to win fabulously funny prizes.
Hosted by Richard Rugburn. Special guest celebrities Anita Goodman, The Swedish Housewife, Vincent Drambuie, Nelson Heston Riley, Betty Sommers & Bing Wheeler.

The Rendezvous Jewelbox Theater
2320 2nd Ave.
Doors @ 7:30 Show @ 8 $5.
http://www.myspace.com/belltownmatchgame

December 15th - Hoothcy Koothy Club - Christmas In Wonderland!
If your passports in order and you feel like going to my hometown to see how we celebrate the Holidays in the Swedish part of the world outside of Ballard please do join me!

Södra Teatern
Mosebacke Torg 1-3
Stockholm, Sweden

Door at 9PM, Cover 230 KR
http://www.sodrateatern.com/html/kategori.asp?kat=klubbar&prodnr=13731

December 18, 19, and 20th- “Land Of the Sweets” The Burlesque Nutcracker
The second season of Seattle’s Burlesque spectacle of ecdysiastic pageantry, “Land of the Sweets” sets the Nutcracker to a swing-era soundtrack and gives the ballet a bawdy makeover.
Produced by Lily Verlaine and Jasper McCann

Starring: Kitten LaRue, Indigo Blue, The Swedish Housewife, Babette La Fave, Waxie Moon, Wes Brockbank and Cathy Sutherland. How excited are we?

The Triple Door
216 Union St., Seattle, 98101

2 shows a night 7 and 10 PM
$23 advance $25 day of
http://www.thetripledoor.net/event.aspx?eid=2762&venue=mainstage

December 28- Tamara The Trapeze Lady’s Columbia City Cabaret
The Swedish Housewife joins in on the funs and games with Tamara and her other guests.

Columbia City Cabaret
4916 Rainer Ave South
Seattle, 98118

Door at 7PM Show at 8
$20 advance $25 at door
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/15097

December 29th - Burlesque Behind The Pink Door - Last Show of 2007
With Miss Indigo Blue, Miss Inga Ingenue, Elizabeth Ripley, and The Shanghai Pearl
and your hostess The Swedish Housewife

The Pink Door
1919 Post Alley
Seattle, WA 98112

11PM at $12 cover, seating begins at 10PM

So if you can’t make it out, I’ll see ya next year.
HAPPY 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m exhausted just writing this, the thought of doing it is making me have to go back to bed.

All the best to you and yours during these dark and challenging Holiday Times,

The Swedish Housewife

December 3rd, 2007

the rest of my travel blog from Sweden 06

January 16th, 2007

Nov 9 to 14

My two and 3/4 days in NYC are spent planting the garden I tore up the week before, once again with the help of Julie Atlas Muz in the pouring down rain, thank god for rain gear, getting a hair cut, and having a great Italian meal with Dirty Martini, Kenny Scharf, Hattie Hathaway, Andy Reynolds, Tom Ackerman, Jo Boobs, and Davia. A wonderful spa experience on 34th Street with Little Brooklyn, a meeting at Cielo with Bruce, a fun afternoon at the loft where Kenny is staying while he is in NY and painting, Scott and Loren visit us and we have tea watch Kenny paint me pack and look at photos of Female Masking and an amazing photo of a rubber cat person, breakfast with Loren, another manicure, shopping at Agent Provocateur (where Scarlet Sinclair now works) with Scott, and I am off again to the airport and fly to Stockholm.

Södra Teatren has purchased my ticket for me, and it feels kind of gammy to I pick the ticket up at the airport counter of Malaysia Air. I am very happy that I am flying a non-stop to Sweden, as it makes for a shorter trip. MH as they call Malaysia Air for short, not sure why, is very nice. The flight uniforms are super cute the Stewardesses have long dresses made of a batik and Stuarts jackets look like dinner jackets and as if they should be in a soul or R& B band from the 80’s the lapels are rather large and have gold pattern overlay on the green fabric. The pillows are super soft and of very high quality as are the blankets. The food is hit or miss. Dinner good, breakfast bad. I sleep most of the 7 + hours and we arrive.

It is late morning and getting the baggage and going through customs take very little time. The airport has expanded and I find it a comfortable space to be in, the scale, wood and granite, glass, Swedish Interior and architectural Design at its bests. Though if I were incapacitated, I would feel different as the gates are very far from the main arrival terminal. I get out and get some Kroner and change to call my Aunt to let her know that I have arrived, only thing is, is that I don’t seem capable of using the public telephone, yes I put in my coins, I get a message to dial the number and it never rings, after several attempts I give up and head out to find a taxi to head into town, not knowing that the club has sent a car to pick me up and miss the man with the sign sent there to collect me. It is very cool outside, winter had arrived already, I see tell tale signs that there has been snow in the last few days, but it has mostly melted. I hop in to a taxi and the very nice cabby let me use his mobile to call my Aunt, she is as excited as I am. Arlanda is just about a half hour away from Stockholm, after my arrival we have lunch and then I call Karin the artistic director for The Hootchy Kootchy Club to let her know that I am here and would love to see her later when she is free. I go for a walk and then take a nap. Brita (my Aunt) and I have dinner, a stew made of elk meat and it is quite good. After dinner I feel quite tired and decide that I will stay in, that is just when the phone rings and it is Karin, I change my mind and go out with she and her husband Marcus to Café Rishi to see his art installation and have a glass of wine. They pick me up in their car and we speak Swedish and to my amazement I can keep up with the conversation and understand most of what is being said. I marvel at this, as I so rarely have reason to speak Swedish.

The bar is a well-known old establishment as it has been around since the 30’s. Behind the bar itself there is an amazing plaster relief that lay over parts of the mirrors with faces and bodies of women. There are wine glass type racks hanging over the bar that also function as chandeliers. Quite clever and I can tell they are old fixtures. Marcus takes me on a tour of his installation, it is a collaboration he has done with another artist who is a woman. The installation starts and a tree and transforms into a cross, parts of it I quite like, but I am not sure if I understand the concept. Marcus gets us drinks, me white wine and Karin orange juice as she is driving and the police are quite strict. We try to find seating, as we are both tired, she has been at work then in rehearsal and working on producing her fist show the one that I will be part of the next evening. It is very loud and it makes it difficult to converse, there is so much that I want to talk to Karin about as she is a very interesting, intelligent and well spoken young lady. She and her husband Marcus are obviously quite in love and have been together for I believe they said 8 years. I ask how they met and they both blush it is sweet. We all decide it is time to head to our respective homes and get some sleep, but in the way home we need to run an errand and drop by a fried of Karin’s who lives quite close to the theater who is helping her with her costume I forgot her name (not big surprise as I am so rotten with names) She has a tiny little gem of an apartment filed with SHOES!!! Vintage 20’s to 60’s, platforms, sling backs, mules you name it, even Swedish Spring-a-lators!!!! I get caught up in the shoes while they speak of costuming for a while, when Marcus who is sitting in the car calls and is tired of sitting the cold car it is time to head out.

I sleep till 13:30 the next day and just have time to get up have tea before Karin comes a collects my bags to take to the theater. I leave for the theater a little after 2:30 to get set up and see the space. I take the subway which is so clean and quite it is unbelievable, I ponder why this is the only country where there are quiet and civilized and the environmental impact on us humans is minimal and our hearing is not compromised by loud screeching, on the whole Sweden is a very gentle to the human senses. In no time at all I am weaving through the quaint streets of Södra (southern) Stockholm.

It is already getting dark that is the drag about this part of the world. Daylight is a rarity from late October to the end of January hence the high suicide rate and chronic levels of depression and over use of alcohol. I find my way up to the top of the hill where the theater sits. It has a beautiful view of the surrounding territory. Södra Teatren has very rich and interesting history that dates back to 1850, you can read all about it on the theaters website. http://www.sodrateatern.com

I get into the venue and meet the theater liaison Ingmari who is lovely. She orders out for some tasty Indian Food and we proceed to unpack out costumes and go over the outline for the show that evening. I feel like I am in some weird dream state, also feeling thrilled to be part of this event and really enjoying meeting artistic people in Stockholm with whom I feel quite at ease with. The show is a tribute to Betty Page and Veronica and I will be doing a little vignette homage to Betty in our matching RED Vivienne Westwood SEX SHOE’s!!!!

The show and evening is super fun and the audience is a delightful mix of gay, straight, old, young, hipster, ex patriots, rock-a-billy, mod, fussy queers, pretty dykes, circus freaks and what not. After the club is shut down we all go to Stockholm’s very trendy and exclusive “Spy Bar” which in my opinion is really rather dull, but despite that we do carry on till dawn when they toss us out. I sleep quite a bit on Sunday, Karin, Veronica, and Louis de Ville come to late afternoon tea and conversation which my Aunt delights in as she so enjoys the conversation as learning all about these women and there performances. She tells us about when she saw Josephine Baker perform in Göteborg. Later take and I my Aunt out to dinner for Chinese food for a belated Birthday dinner and hit the hay.

The next day I am up and out on errands before heading out to the airport to return to NYC to help prepare for the Memorial Party for Adam Goldstone on the 14th. The flight is uneventful but delayed…We are chasing the sun across the globe on the flight from Sweden to NYC.

Back in NYC to pouring down rain, drop by some stupid party at the Prada Store in Soho with Kenny, due to his celebrity status we must smile for the cameras when entering the party. I am asked for my name I say “The Swedish Housewife” they think I am being funny or snotty. We last a total of 5 minutes, then leave and have a yummy meal at Café Habanna and go to sleep.

When I get up I repack and send off costumes and my excess baggage via Fed Ex, back to Seattle, as I have way more to take home than I can get on the airplane. Not sure how that happened. All my chores done I head up to Pastise early and have a bite and a few glasses of Champagne. I usually don’t drink before 5 PM but I figure this evening is the equivalent of a wake and I am to get drunk. The man sitting next to me at the bar thinks I am a stewardess, I play up to his fantasy for as long as I can, but eventually tire of it. The party for Adam was lovely, sad and not really sure what to say about it. Dirty Martini, Julie Atlas Muz and Little Brooklyn joined me in a group fan dance to a piece of music off of Adam’s album Lower Eastside Stories - Mi Querida Loisaida (My Beloved Lower East Side).

When the party was over family and friends met up at the Manhattan Bridge at the location where Adam and his dear friend Gary had bungee jumped off the bridge a few years ago, just around the time I had met him. We released half his ashes off into the dark windy Manhattan Night, and tried to say good-bye. It was 5 AM and I went and had breakfast by myself at 7A, returned to Julie’s where I was now staying and got ready to go to the airport to fly to Seattle and go directly to band rehearsal for the show we had the next evening at Café Champagne. Back to the grind in Seattle and what a grind I have ahead of me until the end of the year….

This “IS” Burlesque #7- An Intimate Evening of Boobs and Brian’s X 7

January 9th, 2007

I am so darn tootin excited for….

This “IS” Burlesque #7 - An Intimate Evening of Boobs and Brian’s X 7

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 24, 2007

This *IS* Burlesque! # 7, an Intimate Evening of Brains & Boobs X 7… + a one-hour Wild Go-Go Bar!

Learn! Two Prime Lectures @
6:14- THE NAUGHTY LIBRARIAN-“Power, Pain, and the Homovestite”
7:21- PROFESSOR JO “BOOBS” WELDON- “Erotic Dance In Film”

Tip! Seven Deadly Sinful Dancers at 8:28
The Naughty Librarian, Lucky Penny, Ultra, The Shanghai Pearl, Ernie Von Schmaltz, Phoebe Applebottom, and Waxy Moon.

See! Seven Wonders of The World at 9:35
Starring Miss Exotic World 2004 - Miss Dirty Martini and Jo Boobs from NYC.
Plus-Lily Verlaine, Kitten La Rue, Vienna Le Rouge, Miss Indigo Blue, The Swedish Housewife, with Hosts Robert Lopez and Kaleb Hagan-Kerr.

Hear! DJ Scott Ewalt - from the Cock in NYC for The 1 hour Wild Go- Go Bar and Beyond!!!

The Heavens - 172 South Washington off second avenue

Lectures only $5! Register at brownpapertickets.com
Lecture attendees receive a discount for show entry @ $11
All others $14 at the door ONLY!

Door for lectures-6:00 p.m.
Door for Wild Go-Go Bar and Show- 8:00p.m.

For more information about this event contact
paula@swedishhousewife.com


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